Waiting for nothing

The thing that I dont like the most, seeing her. I dont hate her, not at all, but seeing her breaks my heart apart.

I was a kid that time, love wasn't included in my dictionary during that time. A cute girl approached me and became a good friend of mine. We were like siblings, I was so happy to have a sister who has the same age as mine during that time.

Time went on, we were like unseparatable, breakfast together, having the same food, sitting together, laughing and eating at the same time. She was very motivative to me, we both studied really hard and always scored high marks. I remember one time, we both got the same mark and got treated by our class teacher one nasi bungkus each. Only the both of us did, and we were so happy.

One day, she pulled my hand and ran with me. She brought me to a place, somewhere private, she whispered "I Love You" to me. I didnt know what kind of feeling I had during that time, I had this butterfly inside me and my heart was somehow warm, I couldnt say anything apart from saying "I Love You" back to her.

Well, we were kids, we didnt know what LOVE was. 3 years after that, we were still good friend, although we were not in the same class anymore. She approached me everytime she saw me. A year later, I guess, bored with the approaching thingy and also, that time, boys were doing their thing, girls with their own, we somehow, became a bit different. I hardly see her coming by and I was starting to miss all of that.

Towards the end of our year at that school, we were free, free like a bird, that was the time, she ran to me and gave me some chocolates. Seeing her was a relief.

I used to talk to her on the phone all the time, talking to her was really fun. But towards our secondary years, we got separated. We are still lucky that our mothers are friends.

About a year ago, we had a function at our home, she was not there, I got news from the mother that she's leaving, furthering her studies abroad. I gave her mom my contact and asked her to pass it over.

I waited and waited, from days to months, still, nothing. One day, I was shopping for my stuff, a lady approached me and smiled. How surprising, to see her, standing infront of me, I wasnt really paying attention to her words, I was just mesmerised with her beauty, BUT, there was a guy with her, hmmm.. there goes my chance.

For years, I held onto her words, and waited so long to have it back, but I guess I was too late. TOO LATE. She's now happy with someone better, beautiful couple.

It's a lie if I said that I wont feel anything everytime I think of her, it's a lie if I said I dont even think of her anymore. I miss her a lot. May she be happy with her beloved ones. Amin.