Thursday, July 17, 2008

Who is.


All of a sudden, I just dont feel well anymore and I just felt stupid to know and to expect of what's ahead. I use to hear advices and complains about me of how foolish and childish I am, I still remember that when I was told that a good salary cost a good ride cost good ladies. How blonde is such thinking? Why I was directly brought to view a future of studying to a respectful level and all of that just to boost up your testosterone level? Why with such thinking? Why can't you get out of the world of where people really learn the word BENEFIT as in the BENEFIT itself, where you make money, live a happy family, great future and not BENEFIT as in enjoying the whole world, giving your shits to others.

I'm not blaming anyone I know, not all tho. I thanked them for that. At least I know and could always be prepare with something ahead. But I'm actually embarrassed to admit that, in my head, I just dont want to face the world because of that. It's not my fault though, but, my relation with it makes me uncomfortable with the whole situation. Who is smarter now? Me, who works hard fulfilling my parent's big wish and hope and at the same time, working hard fulfilling my own dreams too or someone who acts like they know but actually, they dont know nothing at all.

What's the point of tying the node if you're heart still shouts for more and more. I know you wont get what I'm talking about rite now, I bet only certain people understands this, they would understand this fully, after what I have just encountered. I'm not crazy, i'm just expressing my wild mind in lengthy words.

It's wrong for me to ask Why did God chose us? The question should be rephrase - why are we stupid? Probably there are reasons for that, but mostly, if I could debate this, it would all be negative reasons. Hmm..

I'll try to cast it off of my mind, I'll do that. Allah. I beg for your guidance.